The 3 Week Diet

Relationships: Why It Hurts So Good

Love or HateI am sure you have noticed how hard it is to watch abuse in a movie, feelings of disgust overcome you. If a song comes on that describes abusive relationship, feelings of pain and hurt flood you. When you feel pain and hurt your body will produce endorphins, a natural high that relieves stress and pain. That is why songs that express the feelings of abuse and pain will be more desirable than watching abuse. Also you can relate it to those that have been in abusive relationship vs. those that haven’t. People who have never been in abusive relationships are on the outside looking in. They haven’t felt that pain and hurt that floods you with endorphins, they have just seen the disgusts associated with watching it.

Natural AddictionWhen you hear people wonder why anyone would stay with an abuser, the answer is; it hurts so good. These relationships are built on a chemical addiction. You are bound to each other by negative experiences due to the feel good hormones that are produced to survive tragedies. The highs and lows are now addicting. In the highs you find yourself saying or feeling that you have never felt this way before so it must be love. In the lows you fear if you leave you will never feel this strongly about someone again. This is a false sense of love. You are addicted to your body pumping you full of endorphins, in order to deal with the stress and pain.  Your it hurts so good feelings must be put to rest for good.

Leaving an abusive relationship is stopping an addiction. Many may need life threatening experience to force themselves to go through the withdrawals that lies ahead. If you recognize you are in this cycle there are several things you can do to increase your chances of leaving before it is too late. Know that your life is more important than your abuser. They will survive the break-up just like you have survived the abuse. Pray. Prayer is for yourself, no one can hear your thoughts and this self-talk to a higher power will give you the push you are seeking. In order to recover you must remove yourself first, be open to opportunities that arise. Realize it is not going to be easy but worth it. You have a long road to recovery and you can’t do it alone so surround yourself with people who want you to get the help you need.

 

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